Silence
by Distant Luver
Summary: Sango secretly visits Miroku in the middle of the night and learns something she'd hoped would never happen - Miroku's void is growing, and not exactly slowly. SM fluff one-shot


Silence

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An Inuyasha one-shot

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AN: hey guys! Well, I wanted to take a break from my HP fic "Thanks, Mate", and it's been a while since I've done an Inu fic. Why not Sango and Miroku this time around? Hope ya like! Please review!

It was the dead of night before Sango even dared to look up. She couldn't get caught. She just couldn't. She had to go, though; she knew she wouldn't ever get any sleep if she didn't see his face. Silently, she arose from her futon setup and tiptoed across the floor cautiously, so as not to hit a loose floorboard. Of course, the second she decided it was safe was the precise moment that a loose one decided to situate itself under her foot. She stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes immediately swerving to Kagome, Shippou and Kirara sleeping in the corner. Shippou groaned subconsciously, turned on his side and did nothing more; however, he had obviously hit Kirara in the process, causing his friend to growl in an annoyed tone before continuing on snoring, if a cat was considered capable of snoring at all. Despite all the movement in the room, nonetheless, Kagome didn't make a sound nor move a muscle. She didn't free her head of the blanket that covered her, either. Did _everyone_ in Kagome's time sleep so awkwardly?

Sighing with almost desperate relief, Sango continued out of the room quietly, whispering words of thankfulness to the gods that they were smiling on her for the moment. She didn't start praising them just yet, however, seeing as she hadn't gotten past Inuyasha's keen ears yet.

When she had finally made it to their room, she almost died of relief when she found Inuyasha hadn't heard her. She'd be mortified if he saw her like this. She'd be mortified if _any_ of them saw her like this. It was a weakness she just couldn't control. Miroku always did seem to have that effect on her.

Sighing, she sat down quietly beside his sleeping figure and looked at him for a moment, finally at peace. His body was turned away from her, but his face was still visible. He seemed almost mystical with his charmingly defined features, his lips gently pressed, his eyes – oh, those beautiful, deep blue eyes – softly closed off from the world as he dreamed sweetly. The moonlight streamed in gracefully through the rice-paper panels, seeming to dance on his face as he breathed in and out ever so slowly. It was enough to make her swoon, and Sango was hardly the type who would fall to such a level. He was just so. . . so beautiful. He was _always _beautiful to her, no matter how many times he made her heart shatter. That's why she always found it so hard to be upset with him. He was just too enthralling, and she didn't have the will to resist it. She just couldn't do it. He had so much power over her, and no one knew it but her own self. No, no one would ever know. She'd withstand her anguish in seclusion. There was too much shame that came with being in love with a lecher.

But . . . if the heart truly yearned for one soul and one soul only, regardless of one's discretion, was it really such a crime?

Unshed tears that now came to her almost nightly welled up to her eyes once more, begging to be free, but she wouldn't hear of it; she refused to cry. Unreadable thoughts ran through her head as she hesitantly raised her hand, finally lowering her fingertips to his face as she ran them across his cheek. His breath caught in his throat subconsciously upon contact and was released deeply just as suddenly. Color crawled up her cheeks and attraction circled her being, causing her heart to beat ten times as fast. Slowly, she lay her head against his and felt his back moving as he breathed, closing her eyes as it consumed her. Had he been awake, she would have never been like this; he'd never look at her the same way again. But it just felt so good; it was like all her troubles, all her doubts, all her struggles, they were all whisked away and replaced with sweet thoughts of him. His face was all she saw, with the moon's reflection shining across the lines of his face; his touch was all she felt, with his soft breathing pressing his back to her ever so gently; his voice was all she heard, calling her name in a fond whisper. She wished with all of heart that her dreams were real. Just for one moment; she'd never ask anything else of the gods for as long as she lived.

"Sango?"

Her eyes instantly sprung open, her body completely petrified. She _wasn't_ dreaming. He really was awake. Her mind urged her to run; flee from the nightmare before it began. But her body just wouldn't move; the most it could manage was a nervous twitch. "Sango? Are you alright? You're shivering." He asked worriedly, sitting up to wrap her in a blanket. Her cheeks flushed. "N-n-o, Miroku, I-I'm f-fi. . ." she let her sentence trail off as he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead and his eyes filled with concern. "You're burning up. Here, lie down." He said, letting her snuggle down in his futon before getting up and walking past the screen to Inuyasha's side of the room. Sango sat up. "No, Miroku, you don't have to. . ." Just then, he came back, dragging Inuyasha's futon and blanket and set it next to his own. "Wake him." She finished, looking at him curiously. "Don't worry. He's not here." His eyes became warm like she'd never seen before, making her melt inside. "Please." He whispered. "You shouldn't be up like this." She blushed slightly from delight before letting her head lay down and letting her eyes wander.

"So. . . Where is he, then?" she asked, filling the awkward silence. Miroku chuckled. "Oh, you know. Out with Kagome again." Sango blinked. ". . . Again?" He looked at her skeptically. "You mean, you haven't noticed? They haven't fought in almost weeks now. And they're more affectionate than ever." Sango blushed. She knew just where he was going with this, yet something inside her wanted to encourage his blunt logic. "What does that have anything to do with?"

"They're going at it, of course. What else?" Sango's whole body seemed to blush, and Miroku did nothing but add to it when he looked at her uneasily. "Sango, are you sure you're alright? You look so sick. . ." She nodded quickly, more embarrassed than ever. Thank the gods that men are so naïve.

Well, not quite.

"If you're alright, then why did you wake me?" he joked, laughing to himself. Sango's breath caught in her throat. _No. . . Please don't ask me that. . . I don't want him to find out. . . _she thought frantically, almost moved to tears. If he knew why, she'd never be able to come see him at night again. Her whole world would collapse if that happened. Catching on to her train of thought by the uncomfortable silence, his expression changed as he gazed at her. Then, with an indulgent nod to himself, he lowered his hand and gently ran his fingers through her long, ebony hair. He felt her stiffen at his touch at first, and then felt her relax just as quickly under his sweet caress; he felt her desire flowing through her veins. She sighed soothingly as she took his right hand to rest under her cheek, causing his heart to beat quicker and color to paint his face. She giggled softly as she ran her fingers along the prayer beads in the palm of his hand, and a thoughtful expression came over their faces. Her touch tickled as she traced the edge of his cursed void mournfully with her fingertips. She knew exactly how it lay in his palm, how it twisted and turned into some form of a circle, how the little nicks in the side were. . . wait a moment. She hadn't remembered quite so many of them. . .

Sango exhaled breathlessly as realization struck her, and he took his hand back regretfully. She immediately sat up from where she lay, her eyes asking millions of questions all at once. Yet she was so baffled that all she could manage to say was his name. He unnervingly averted his eyes from her, his worst fear confirmed. He had hoped she wouldn't notice. Tears began to sting her eyes as she touched his arm, prompting him to look at her. "How did this happen?" she murmured. He swallowed hard. "I've just. . . been using it more than usual lately." Anxiety filled her being as a single tear traveled the length of her cheek. "Miroku, you know you can't. . ."

"I don't have a choice." He retorted quietly. "It's the only wa-. . ."

"No it's not!" She cried desperately, shaking her head. "You can't throw your life away like that! You can't. . ."

"That's the _last_ thing I'm doing!" He said loudly, standing up quickly, taking himself from her grasp. "Sango, it's all we have. How can I protect you otherwise?!" Sango choked, holding her hands close to her chest, staring at the ground with blurred vision. Miroku paused. "Protect me?" She asked quietly. "Is that what this is about? Is that all this is to you?!" Sango shook her head furiously, shivering from such extreme emotion. "Miroku, this is your _life_ at stake! You can't do this anymore. . . you can't. . ." her voice quivered more than ever as her tears took over, flooding down her cheeks like waterfalls. Sighing as he apprehended what he had done, he fell to his knees and held her by the shoulders, trying to look her in the eye; she refused, shaking her head. "I won't let you. I won't."

"It's not clear to you now. . ." He started as he attempted to comfort her, tears starting to stream down his own face, "But Sango. . . It makes so much sense to me."

"How could dying be appealing to you?"

"It's not like that."

"Then what's it like, Miroku?! What?!"

He sighed and closed his eyes. He couldn't take the stinging that started to consume his emotions. When Sango could feel his agony running through her, she paused, just staring at him, waiting for him to continue in guilt. "I don't have anything to live for. I never did." He whispered. Sango's lip quivered. How could he say that? "It's true." He stated, looking into her eyes. "I was born so I could die of the same curse my father did, and his father before him. That's all. I don't have some great destiny or calling like everyone else. All I can do is wait for death." Sango shook her head and whimpered. "Stop it. Stop it. It's not true. Just. . ." But he couldn't fulfill her wish. Not this time. She needed to hear this; he needed her to hear it. "I decided a long time ago that I was gonna live. I didn't care who hated me or who called me a pervert or what girl I was with at the end of the day; as long as I was living. My life wasn't gonna be long enough for me to do anything else. And that worked for me for so long." He paused, letting the unforgiving truth of his own words sink in. ". . . But then. . . I met you and. . . You made me think about my life. I mean really think about it. And you made me realize that all I was doing was lying to myself. And I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't." Sango almost found herself shivering from the intensity of his words. It scared her to see such a different side of him; a quiet, emotional, scared Miroku who didn't know what to do. Yet all she could do was sit there; just sit there and listen.

"I thought I could do whatever I wanted; I'd be rich, have whatever I wanted. I'd have a son to pass my name on to. But what I didn't realize was that life. . . it isn't that simple. And it was so selfish of me to think that I could ever have that." He spat in disdain, completely disgusted with himself. Sango shook her head, finding the strength to speak for the first time. "It's not selfish. It's not selfish at all." She swallowed. "Everyone wants to find someone and have a child and be happy. It's just. . . how people think." Miroku shook his head furiously. "You don't get it, Sango. I'm not everyone. I'm _different_. Everyone else wants to be in love and have a child because it's something that's possible for them. . . But, Sango. . . That's not possible for _me_."

"Why not?" she whispered. "Miroku. . . every time you ask a woman that question. . . and you get turned town. . . my heart just . . . shatters. Because I know that if they just understood why you asked. . . instead of assuming you're just some. . . womanizer." Both found themselves at the mercy of their tears, crying so heavily they could barely finish speaking. "It wouldn't have made any difference." He wept, holding her close to him, letting her spill her tears into his shoulder. "It wouldn't be fair to force this curse on such an innocent child. It wouldn't be fair to the mother who had to watch her child die the same way his father did. It's just not right."

"I don't care about any of that."

Miroku stopped dead, so shocked at what he had just heard that he couldn't move. Sango's tears became silent as she looked up into his wet, red eyes. He was so stunned that he could hardly breathe. "Miroku." She whispered sweetly, placing her hand tenderly on his cheek. "There is no one in this whole world who I would want to share a child with . . . except you." Sango bit her lip and looked down, trembling as her confession left her lips. "I couldn't." Miroku blinked thoughtfully, piping up quietly. "You. . . you _want_ my child?" Sango exhaled heavily and nodded, not meeting his eyes; that is, until he propped her head up with his forefinger until her eyes were locked with his. They didn't need to make a sound nor mutter a word; they could feel each other so deeply that it almost made them collapse. They could feel the pull between them tightening its grasp around their hearts until their faces were only inches apart. . .

. . . and their lips met for the first time.

It felt like heaven; no, much better than that. All of their tension, all of their doubts, their fears, they all vanished. All Sango could feel was her longing for him deepening and deepening until she couldn't take it anymore. She flung her arms around him and let him fall to the floor on his back as he embraced her tighter than ever before, their kisses growing ever more passionate. But there was nothing that made her heart stir so much as when she paused to breathe and heard the soft whisper enter her ears.

"I love you."

She pressed her lips together, suppressing her tears just for one more kiss; but when she finally released them, she found herself laughing. And it was so infectious and sweet that he went right along with her. And as they laughed, and the tears poured from their eyes, they lay in each other's arms, letting their fondness and warmth shine brighter than ever before.

And they whispered sweet words that only exist in silence.

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Hey guys! It kinda got all over the place, but I needed a break from my fics. Lol. Hope ya like! Please review!

Suki


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